Long week but I made it.

It is finally Friday and I am starting to feel more like myself than I have in a long time.  I have learned that my last Cushing’s test has come back negative.   My doctor is now consulting with a specialist to see if there are more tests that need to be ran.  She has also decided to go back and do more testing for my PCOS.  I was diagnosed years ago for PCOS without having any testing done. I am hoping that if we learn more about my PCOS there may be some options to help with some of my symptoms.  It is frustrating not know where I am going next but I know this is a process and I have to be patient.  It helped having therapy and talking about the issues and feelings I have been having lately.  My last session left me raw and vulnerable but has helped me move forward.  It is amazing to me that I still do not realize just how much my trauma continues to affect my life.  I truly understand now that the studies are correct we stunt in our personality development at the age abuse started.  I can start to see my adolescent side come out at times and fighting to take control as a means to protect myself.  That is why this blog has become so important to me.  This is a place that I can truly process my thoughts and feelings when I am triggered.  This is the way I can take my power back when I feel powerless. 

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