I am still in that space where I want to be left alone. I can hear my therapist telling me that if I do I am giving up on my power. I give and pretend a lot and that can be exhausting. When I am at home it’s me just me. At home I don’t have to pretend even if my husband is home because he understands who I am. Even the smallest change from my routine sends me in a spiral.
I have also been having more flashbacks and some nightmares. I am not sure what the triggers are lately other then my mood. The flashbacks are debilitating at times. My husband is the only one can make me feel safe and lately he has been working later which does not help me. How can I ask him to give to me when he is so tried himself. Whatever this episode is I hope I work through it soon because I am not sure how much more I will be able to handle at this point….