Grooming What is it Really?

Groom what is it most people hear this term and really do not understand what it is and how it can affect a person. Grooming is how a person is able to control and manipulate a child or even an adult into doing what they want someone to do. I am going to explain groom in terms of my own abuse. Imagine being 13 years old, and in those short years already faced years of being molested by an adult who was suppose to love and care for you. That person is thankfully taken out of your life and you think for a minute that you are finally safe. That 13 year old was me. I was ready to be safe and happy and I was for a very short time. That ended when the next person came into my life and was able to see I was a broken soul and an easy child to manipulate for your own benefit. This person came into my life and told me I was safe and loved and that the rest of my life I would be ok. This is how the grooming started. Because this person was able to see I was broken and vulnerable this person knew just how to get me to believe that I was safe. This man was charming and loved by everyone that I trusted. He started to make me feel that I was the most important person in the world and that he was going to love and protect me forever. As a vulnerable 13 year old who has been hurt so completely this felt like the best thing in the world. Whenever I started to think about what this person was saying to me I would question myself but come on I was 13 years old what did I know. Everyone thought this man was amazing so I should also right? Things started so slowly that I was not able to see what was really happening until it was to late and I was under his spell. I write about this today because I have been reminded in my job that this is becoming more and more prevalent in our society and it scares the hell out of me. Groomers leave us feeling that we asked for this situation and that they are the only ones that know what is best for us. They also leave us with very little ways out. I have been triggered more and more lately and I want people to see how groomers are able to take over our lives and change the person we are right now. It is not our fault but the groomers but it is hard to see that in the minute. There is so much more to this story but I wanted to start here. Please realize that we can survive this but it is hell at the time and for a long time after. Don’t blame the person who has been manipulated it is not our fault and trust me we already blame ourselves. Try and understand without placing blame on the person who is just trying to survive.


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