Starting at the Beginning

I am ready to start my full story. I have been working hard in my therapy and I am ready to inspire others to keep moving forward. So my story starts back at the age of 7. Imagine being 7 years old and encountering your first sexual abuse. This person was my mom’s second husband and the person who was suppose to step up and be a father to me. You see my “father” was also not a person who was good in my life. My “father” was an alcoholic and a wife beater. I do not have any memories of him because my mom was strong enough to walk away before things became worse. Then she married my stepfather who also ended up adopting me. This was going to be the person who taught me what I could expect from a father. Ya now that is funny! All I learned is that I was his toy the person he could abuse and screw up my life. The abuse started out small and of course at 7 years old I did not know that things were not okay. It started with him wanting me to sit on his lap. Eventually he would sit me on his lap so I was sitting right on his penis. Of course I did not understand. From there he would start touching my chest. Of course at 7 I did not have any chest but that did not stop him from enjoying the touching. One thing I am relieved about is that he never touched me in my vaginal area. Eventually he moved on to forcing me to have oral sex with him. At first it was just quick but eventually he got to the point where he was forcing me to give him oral sex until he would ejaculate in my mouth. I can still remember the taste, smell, and fear I felt that first time. I ended up vomiting on him. You would think that would be enough to keep him from wanting to experience that again. Ya if you thought that you were wrong. I still to this day am not able to perform oral sex with my own husband. I am lucky that he completely gets it and never has asked or pushed me to try with him. This is all I can give tonight. I have to be careful so I don’t end up with nightmares tonight. Please continue to follow my story and if my story helps you in any way or feel that it would help someone else please feel free to share and leave me comments. Thank you!

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