Do you ever think about other people’s lives? Do you wonder if they have suffered the way you have? I think about this a lot. I hope that most people have not lived their lives suffering the way I have. That is wishful thinking on my part though. I know there are way to many people in this world who have never had the chance to live a life free to free, disappointment, or hurt. Lately I have thought about other people who have suffered at the hands of another. Why have so many not been able to pick themselves up? Why was I able to be ok and survive? While I am not the healthiest person mentally I have managed to figure out a way to live a good life. There are days were I wish that I could forget all the pain I have been through. Most days though I know that if I didn’t get through the sexual abuse I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Don’t get me wrong I wish it had never happened but I don’t live my life regretting it. If I did that those “men” would continue to destroy my life and I will not allow that. It’s time I stop distrusting the world and remember to live it because I have missed out on too much already!
I wish I could say this is easy but shit it’s the hardest thing I have attempted to do. Every morning I get up and remind myself I got this. I am in control of my life even though I don’t always feel that way. At least I am realizing just how lucky I am. I have an amazing husband that no matter how bad I am he is always there, I have some best friends who always have my back, and most importantly I am happy with me!!