Lately my job has been stressful and I have been to a point where I don’t even want to go to work. I have struggled lately to figure out why I get up and go every single day when I am no longer happy in my job, at least that’s how I have been feeling. Well there comes a time where a person has an encounter that is not always understood. Well this week was the tipping point for me. I was at work on Thursday struggling more then usual. I actually ended up leaving and thinking later I will come back and clean my office out. My passion was gone, all I do is cry and that is not who I am.
So where do I go from here that’s the thought that went through my head over and over on my drive home. My therapist, who I reached out to ended up calling me as I pulled into my driveway. The tears started all over again I just can’t control them. She knows that this is not normally for me so she talks to me and helps me calm down and then is able to squeeze me in for an appointment after the weekend. After talking to her I go into my apartment curl up on the couch and continue to cry and feel sorry for myself. I did take the time to make an appointment with my psychiatrist because it’s apparent that more is going on with me.
Then that reminder came in the least expected way. Sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I got a message from an important friend. I learn that this person’s daughter was having a rough time and giving her parents and even harder time. This friend jokingly said can she live with you. I knew this was not a serious comment but I also recognized that this family is exhausted and a break was needed. I offered to pick her up and bring her to my house for the night. The parents agreed to this so I hopped in my car and drove the hour to pick her up. Driving home my dialogue changed in my head. I was remembering when I had foster kids and how inspired I was doing that. It reminded me again why I became a social worker and why I was so passionate about the work. I was able to get out of my own bullshit and see the love for my work again. My friend came into my life for a reason and now I see why. This friend needed support and in the end while helping it became my reminder of why I do what I do. I plan to enjoy the next few days I have off and will be ready to go back to work and continue the work I love!