Have you ever going through a time in your life where nothing seems to work out fit? Lately this is where I seem to be. I get one area of my life feeling normal and then a different area seems to follow apart. My marriage it’s feeling in a great place which I love.
Now I feel like my work life is falling apart. Just when I feel like I have things figured out I get a new smack in the face. I have been in this job now for almost 1.5 years and I feel like I am at day two. I’m an trying to find the right balance of being a flexible boss and a boss that people respect. I struggle to get people to understand that their job is more then seeing people the back end stuff is just as important. I didn’t even get to take my weeks vacation because my backup person has had to pick up others slack.
Then there my other relationships that I fear losing so I act a fool and try and push people away before they can figure out I suck and leave me anyways. Why do I have to do everything the hard way. One thing I have not learned is to just live in the moment. I wonder how different my life would be if I could learn to do that. Maybe if I stopped looking six steps ahead I could see all the great things and people who are there wanting to experience these things with me.
Crap writing this just reminded me of something. Last year or actually probably two years ago I attended a DBT training and something happened but I moved on and have not thought about it until this moment. The topic was radical acceptance. Suddenly during this topic I broke down sobbing and I mean sobbing. Room full Of people who did not know what to think or do. I couldn’t explain it to myself let alone them. I pulled myself together and pushed it to the side never thinking about it again until now. Think I need to go through my own training and figure out what I need next. I guess I am being guided so I will follow. Stay tuned we will see!