Feeling stupid!

Relationships suck no matter which way you look at it. You think you find this one person who you can let your guard down with only to eventually realize your an idiot!

The person who called themself my BFF showed me once again just how much better I would be alone. This person showed me very clearly that I don’t matter. I know when you make friends at work you have to keep the two relationships separate and I can do that until the person you trust shows you just how much you don’t matter.

The people in my life know how hard it is for me to leave people in completely. I let this person in on a lot. This person knows how much my program, consumers, and workers are to me. Yet when it comes down to it actions always speak louder then words.

This person got a new job and that is great, I want what is best for everyone. I never thought my “BFF” would give me a two week notice, hardly come in those last two weeks and be 7 months being on notes. This is not professional. My program is suffering, my consumers are suffering, and the team that is left is left behind to pick up the pieces.

If this person loved me and cared about as they claim then this would have been handled better. Now I am left angry, disappointed, and sad. With my history this leaves me in a place of remembering why I don’t give my whole self to anyone. In left raw and stupid and right back in the place of not trusting anyone. I will move on but I also know I have to grieve this loss and figure out if there are any pieces left to pick back up. All I want to do though is close myself back off. Go to work and come home where I am safe. Leave all people behind so I can feel comfortable again. Ugh

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