2020 Reflecting

I hate these nights where my head just does not want to shut down. There is so much that I can’t stop reflecting on of this year which is still so early in the year. There has been so many changes in these few short months. In January I made the decision to move to Monroe never realizing just how important that decision would end up being. Then came February when one day I get a call from my mom who is scared because there was something medically wrong with her. She drive home that night and this set off the next big change. With in 24 hours we learned she had cancer, she went in for a biopsy and ended up in the hospital for a week. I feared I would lose her that week because of her lungs being compromised. Finally she was released and it was time to move mom in With me so she wouldn’t be alone hundreds of miles away. This lead to waiting for a couple weeks and scrambling to get everything in place to start treatment. Now she goes three weeks in a row for chemo and she does her best to keep smiling and fighting! She is truly the most amazing woman, I hope to be half the woman she is! Then comes March and the Covid issues start and I was left worrying about my people at work, my consumers, my mom, and my own fears of getting sick. This was hard but also eye opening for me. It made me look at my life and realize I was not happy. I was going through my life doing what was expected of me, not from any outside influences but of my own. It was than I decided I needed a change but what I didn’t know. Then one day sitting in the parking garage of the UW Hospital it came to me. I STOPPED DREAMING! I was settling I stopped having goals and dreams. April became my turning point I was ready to make big changes and new dreams I realized I wanted to be my own boss, help who I wanted to help, stop playing politics and just do what I love! I started bulldozing my way through my thoughts and figuring out how to get my dream. Now it’s May and I realize that already in a few short months I have come alive again. I am ME again and I will no longer just do what I think is expected of me but do what I know I need. Everything that has happened to this point has been a wake up call this year. The best part of all of this is my amazing mom is fighting and not giving up! She will be here to see me through my dream and remind me to keep moving forward because that’s what she has taught me. Happy Mother’s Day mom I am so glad you are home with me again. I love you! I am also lucky to have an amazing husband who over the last 21 years has supported all my crazy and cheered me along. I know that Jamie will continue to cheer for me and be proud of me. I love you more than you know! So while it’s Mother’s Day I wanted to honor what my family is going through because we are all in this together and both are important to my dreams, my life, and my happiness!!

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Hello I am a strong woman who has experience trauma and disappointment. I thought my story and dreams are over but that might now be the case...

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