If you asked me a year ago how my life would be different I would never have guess where I am today. I worked at a job that left me with no motivation, no excitement, and a lot of stress. I imagined myself in this job until I retired. Well that is not where I am now lol. I also think back on the people who were in my life a year ago and reflect on how much that had even changed. I use to think of myself as a pretty strong person who did not allow people to lead me blindly. Many people have left my life, a few have stated, and recently I connected with someone from my past who was so important to me and I allowed this person to be pushed out of my life by people who were not good for me. I also look back at this year and cringe because I almost gave up on my marriage!
Over the last year so much has changed. My husband and I worked out asses off to do the hard work of building our relationship back stronger and better then ever. We have been together for 22 years and it could have been so easy for us both to say fuck it we are done. Thank goodness we didn’t. We worked hard, cried, fought, pushed past the hurt and found each other again.
I left that dead end job and followed my dreams. I forgot about my dreams for so long! It took my mom moving back home and learning she had cancer to make me realize I was not happy! While I wish my mom was not dying I can’t change that, but I can honor her by remembering that life is short and to take it all in and do what makes mr happy! I am thankful for this time I get with her to make memories with her so when she is gone I will never regret a moment and have those memories to help me every day.
Leaving my dead end job led me to following my dream of starting my own practice! I opened my business with some amazing friends and while we are struggling right now at the end of the day it’s all worth it!
I also over the last year lost people who I thought were my friends but at the end of the day they just sucked the life out of me. Letting go of that circle and holding on to my core support was much better for me. I have some pretty amazing people who stand with me and when I need it they hold me up. I do the same for them when they need me!
This year has also taught me that I allowed important relationships and because of the toxic people in my life. I have had to humble myself and reach out and ask forgiveness. Believe me when I say that was the hardest thing to do. I have done a lot of soul searching and growing with myself. Reflections are not easy and no one wants to think they did someone wrong. I took a chance and reached out knowing there was a good chance the door would be slammed in my face. Lucky for me I was able to admitted I fucked up and said I was sorry and I was forgiven. That was only the start I had to confess some big mistakes. This person opened her arms to me and gave me the best gift, forgiveness!
So as hard as 2020 has been many great things have come out of this year and I am so grateful!! I love you Stacey!!