Last night was rough. I did my best to pick a fight with a friend. Not because I wanted to actually fight but because if I am angry then I can normally ignore my other feelings. Well that didn’t work so well for me yesterday. I wanted someone to hurt as bad as I was hurting, but at the end of the day I felt guilty and crappy. I started talking to this friend and I found I couldn’t hold my emotions back anymore. I talked to my friend for a while and then wrote my post last night. I crawled into bed with my husband and ended up breaking down all over again. I don’t think he knew what to do with me at that time. He does not realize he was exactly what I needed. He held me while I cried and just let me be with my feelings.
Then today I went with some other amazing friends and we went and spent the evening seeing Christmas lights and then having dinner. I needed their laughs and love to help me gain my strength again. It amazing to me how lucky I am to have an amazing support system. I am not alone and when I can’t pick myself up I know my support will hold me up until I am strong enough to do it myself. When things are hard I need to remember I’m never alone. Tonight I go to bed with my heart full and ready to face tomorrow!