It’s amazing to me how much I continue to learn about myself and those around me, even at my age. I want to continue and grow and more importantly I want to continue to be a stronger me. I am learning to be my own biggest support. I am learning that I have made a lot of mistakes thinking about those people around me and just how much a try and fix and take care of those around me.
Thinking about this lately has made me examine my reasons behind this. Why do I feel the need to take care of people around me. Why do I feel the need to push myself into someone’s life to try and help when it really isn’t wanted or needed.
Of course I know the answer to these questions I still keep doing this to myself. Even though time and again it is clear it’s not appreciated. It usually isn’t reciprocated either but I allow myself to push that aside.
So I said this year is about more growth and I need to be clear with myself. I do these things for everyone else to avoid. If I am helping others and loving others I don’t have to do the same for myself. So now how do I fix this and make the growth I want to make.
First thing I need to do is get my ass back into therapy I have been avoiding that for months. I think I need to work on finding away to not take on everyone else’s hurt and therapy is my first place to work on that. Second I think I need to go back to thinking about myself first and hopefully feel less of a need to “save” everyone else. I need to be my own best friend and remember that as humans we are selfish creatures and it’s okay.
Then I need to focus on the important things in my life, such as my husband, my mom, my family, and my business. I am the only one who can be the change I want to see.