I feel like my life is crushing me. I do not know where to turn anymore. I feel like I am one person and have to try and be 20 other people all at once. Every day I get it up and its a struggle. I do not know what the day will bring or what fresh hell I will encounter! I have no one to turn to and no safe place to fall right now. Don’t get me wrong my husband is amazing but he is working so hard and we do not see each other much between his work schedule and my business.
I have always done well in those crazy moments. I have always been able to keep my head above water and get done what needed to be done. I have always done this on my own. Why, why am I drowning now. Why can’t I get my self together and do what I have always done. When did I become this shell who can no longer do the things that need to be done.
I have an amazing support system, something I never had in the past. However; I feel that now that I have this support system I have become soft, and lazy. I need to find myself again, I fear if I do not I will drown. I wish I knew the answer. I wish I knew if it was better to walk away from the support system and go back to how I always did things before, maybe I would not be so weak now. Maybe I could handle all the things in my life like I use to. I just need to know what the answer is I am lost and can’t find it myself.