I don’t know what or where I belong anymore. I am so lonely and have lost so much in the last few months. I have lost my mom and continue to struggle with who I am or what I do next. It was one lose but I keep losing more of the things that use mean something to me.
When I was taking care of my mom my life had purpose. Now that she is gone I sit in my house without any idea what comes next. I have an amazing husband, who works so hard to keep our heads above water. He loves me is always there for me. While I always want to be with my husband, I miss the people who I use to talk to and spend time together. People I use to count on and lean on are not longer available to me.
The one person outside of my husband who I use to be close to and talk to is no longer someone there for me. I sit in my house alone and have no one to talk to anymore. Everything changes so quickly. The last two months have sucked and there is no end in sight. I’m right back to being alone and I need to find away to go back to being okay to that.
Maybe I need to make a big change in my life. Maybe I need to make a drastic change that will throw my world out of balance again and that may be the one thing that makes my life okay again. First I need to figure out how to be okay just being my husband and I alone again. This way I never have to go through the disappointment again.