Sometimes the universe just give you the big fuck you all at once. That is what it feels like right now. Its stupid where my head is going but I just can’t stop it. I wrote a blog last night about my abuser dying. My first reaction was I hope the asshole suffered. Then IContinue reading “The Big F* U”
Author Archives: jenniebowyer3350
Always another hit!
Today I had a great day. It was busy at work and things continue to improve in that area. My mom continues to come to the office and do her best to help out myself and the business. Then it’s time to go home and things changed quickly. My mom got a call from myContinue reading “Always another hit!”
Never ends!
I continue to struggle with the little things lately. I struggle to smile and pretend. Lately I wake up and I hate everyone and everything. I find I have to isolate because really the only thing I want to do is punch someone. Does not even matter who the person is. I’m not sure howContinue reading “Never ends!”
Drowning!
I feel like my life is crushing me. I do not know where to turn anymore. I feel like I am one person and have to try and be 20 other people all at once. Every day I get it up and its a struggle. I do not know what the day will bring orContinue reading “Drowning!”
Usually no Regrets
How many of you reading this blog try to live your life with no regrets. I mean bad things happen, do I wish they did not happen of course; but if those things did not happen in life who would I be today. For so many years I just wished away my life. Nothing goodContinue reading “Usually no Regrets”
That Moment When You Say Why?
Have you ever lived with your head in the sand and suddenly realize that maybe things are not as you would like to think they are. Have you ever given so much of yourself to a person and then suddenly realize that it is all bullshit. It takes one moment to open your eyes andContinue reading “That Moment When You Say Why?”
Two days in!
It’s amazing to me how much I continue to learn about myself and those around me, even at my age. I want to continue and grow and more importantly I want to continue to be a stronger me. I am learning to be my own biggest support. I am learning that I have made aContinue reading “Two days in!”
New Year next Chapter
Last night was not a good mental health night. Today I am going okay but I realize something needs to change. I need to change and grow. I cannot change most of the situations going on in my life but there are some I can control. First thing I need to do is start takingContinue reading “New Year next Chapter”
Another Year!
This is what I wrote today on Facebook. I know many people are reflecting on 2020 and can’t wait to see it go. While it has not been the easiest year I can’t say it was a awful year. In February we learned my mom has stage 4 cancer. This sucks completely but I lookContinue reading “Another Year!”
How Much is to Much
How much can one person handle before she breaks. How much can see take and still hold her head up high. At what point will she break. No matter how strong I am, I have a breaking point. I’m ready to cut everything out of my life and focus on my marriage, my mom, andContinue reading “How Much is to Much”
My Well is Full!
Last night was rough. I did my best to pick a fight with a friend. Not because I wanted to actually fight but because if I am angry then I can normally ignore my other feelings. Well that didn’t work so well for me yesterday. I wanted someone to hurt as bad as I wasContinue reading “My Well is Full!”
Not the Easiest Week!
This week has been a struggle. With everything going on with my mom, I have not been able to just keep pushing things down. Sitting in the office with my partners I had to walk away because I broke down. I do not have time to break down and cry and feel weak. That willContinue reading “Not the Easiest Week!”
Things Have Been OK
Lately things have been going pretty well. Of course nothing is perfect, but at least lately I have felt pretty balanced. One thing that helps is I love my work. I love owning my own business and getting to work with people I want to work with and help them be successful in their lives.Continue reading “Things Have Been OK”
Emotions and Vulnerability are not Easy
I think I use to like it better when I locked myself away in my house and did not leave it. I did not have to see anyone, make nice, or take the chance of being left feeling unsafe. Lately I feel like I am all of the above and it is hell. There isContinue reading “Emotions and Vulnerability are not Easy”
