Category Archives: Uncategorized

This week has been very difficult. On Friday in woke to my mom screaming in pain. U bolted to her and she told me she hear a loud pop in her leg. I tried to move her and she just screamed. I had to call an ambulance and watch my mom in so much painContinue reading “Defeated”

PTSD can make you feel alone in a room full of people. PTSD makes you think that those around you are not to be trusted. PTSD makes you question everything and everyone, even those who you shouldn’t. PTSD can make a person paranoid over the smallest things. This is something I still struggle with andContinue reading “PTSD can be a Real Bitch!”

Today I had a great day. It was busy at work and things continue to improve in that area. My mom continues to come to the office and do her best to help out myself and the business. Then it’s time to go home and things changed quickly. My mom got a call from myContinue reading “Always another hit!”

I continue to struggle with the little things lately. I struggle to smile and pretend. Lately I wake up and I hate everyone and everything. I find I have to isolate because really the only thing I want to do is punch someone. Does not even matter who the person is. I’m not sure howContinue reading “Never ends!”

I feel like my life is crushing me. I do not know where to turn anymore. I feel like I am one person and have to try and be 20 other people all at once. Every day I get it up and its a struggle. I do not know what the day will bring orContinue reading “Drowning!”

How many of you reading this blog try to live your life with no regrets. I mean bad things happen, do I wish they did not happen of course; but if those things did not happen in life who would I be today. For so many years I just wished away my life. Nothing goodContinue reading “Usually no Regrets”

Have you ever lived with your head in the sand and suddenly realize that maybe things are not as you would like to think they are. Have you ever given so much of yourself to a person and then suddenly realize that it is all bullshit. It takes one moment to open your eyes andContinue reading “That Moment When You Say Why?”

It’s amazing to me how much I continue to learn about myself and those around me, even at my age. I want to continue and grow and more importantly I want to continue to be a stronger me. I am learning to be my own biggest support. I am learning that I have made aContinue reading “Two days in!”

Last night was not a good mental health night. Today I am going okay but I realize something needs to change. I need to change and grow. I cannot change most of the situations going on in my life but there are some I can control. First thing I need to do is start takingContinue reading “New Year next Chapter”

This is what I wrote today on Facebook. I know many people are reflecting on 2020 and can’t wait to see it go. While it has not been the easiest year I can’t say it was a awful year. In February we learned my mom has stage 4 cancer. This sucks completely but I lookContinue reading “Another Year!”

How much can one person handle before she breaks. How much can see take and still hold her head up high. At what point will she break. No matter how strong I am, I have a breaking point. I’m ready to cut everything out of my life and focus on my marriage, my mom, andContinue reading “How Much is to Much”

Last night was rough. I did my best to pick a fight with a friend. Not because I wanted to actually fight but because if I am angry then I can normally ignore my other feelings. Well that didn’t work so well for me yesterday. I wanted someone to hurt as bad as I wasContinue reading “My Well is Full!”